Dear Future L,

Hey there,

I haven’t been in the best of moods this week. I’ve been struggling with the hurt of heartbreak. Last night I had a nightmare about X. I hope it gets better with time. I’ve been reading a lot about heartbreaks and I’ve learned that it takes approximately 3.5months to get over someone and I’m only in the second-week post break up.

I can’t wait to stop hurting and feeling this way. It would be nice to put all these behind me. Luckily, I’ve been brave enough to tell some of my friends about it and they have been kind enough to check-in. Daily, I’m seeing how incompatible X and I were. I guess it’s probably for the best. Although I honestly think I deserved a better breakup, but I guess it is what it is.

Now, I’m scared of love again. I pray the Holy Spirit helps me overcome this fear because I really want to grow old in love with someone who would love me till their last breath and want to build a life with me.

X once said I should promise him that we’d always stay together regardless of how tough life gets and I held on to that promise. Lol. I doubt he’d remember. I’m still really upset with him but what can I really do about it but soldier on. I’ve deleted his contact but we’re still in some groups together. I really want to leave those groups but I’m trying not to let my emotions decide. I know it’s hard now but I’m optimistic that it would get better with time.

So far, 2021 has been an emotionally tough year for me. I’ve been through so much already in over 2decades of my life and I know I can get through this. The tears are still hot and painful but I’m glad they are getting less by the day.

It’s funny that this is now my diary. I can’t wait to read all these in a year. Hopefully, I am completely over this heartbreak and focusing on what’s mine.

Till then, I love you L.

Love,

Past L❤️