STEPS

Last night I finished reading Ego is the Enemy and my first thought was to reach out to X to tell him about it. Sigh. I knew I couldn’t anymore and I so I picked the 1984 book he got me and began reading it.

It’s been a week since we broke up and 5 days since he formalized it. It’s been exceptionally hard for me. I’ve only been able to tell my friend and sister-in-law (who told my brother). I really need to talk to someone but I don’t know what to say.

X said we weren’t compatible and he regrets not just staying friends instead of dating. That really hurt. I don’t agree with him but honestly, I have no more fight in me. From the moment I agree to date X, I knew I was going to see it through regardless of the challenges. I love X and if he really doesn’t want to be with me, then I’m going to accept that. I hope that in few months I can read this and not hurt anymore. I don’t want this hurt to make me bitter towards him because it was a beautiful relationship. For the entire 20months, we were best friends. Maybe we weren’t meant to be lovers.

I do hope that I find someone who would want to be my best friend and lover, who would want to grow old together with me. Till then, I’m making the daily steps to build my life just the way I’d like it. So far, it’s been good. I hope that by next year, all my efforts would be fruitful.

Love,

L